I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
