Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
