fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
