That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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