did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
