whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
my shit smells like andre
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
