New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
