? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
