he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
