Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
