jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
