Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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