its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
