if i can run in heels then i can drive
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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