If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
