Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Randomize
