im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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