She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
