You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
