He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
