Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
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HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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