worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
