dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
