Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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