yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
