I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
