you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
