Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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