I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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