I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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