We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
