I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
