I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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