Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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