I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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