she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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