So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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