i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
