He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
ugly people sure do ruin things
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
We're too hungover to prance.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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