I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
The power of my boobs compel you
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
