Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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