oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Randomize
