toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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