how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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