remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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