Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
