so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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