I only kidnapped one of them. chill
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
