She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
