it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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